Do you secretly compare your business to others?
Do you have an arch nemesis?
I know it may sound like a bizarre question but it was one asked of me a few months ago while having lunch with a biz friend. We were in the midst of discussing business, specifically the idea of nothing being new or original, when my friend simply said:
“Do you have an arch nemesis? I do”.
She then proceeded to tell me about a woman in a similar field who seems to be following her business journey in every possible way. Getting into the same media with similar feature stories weeks after my friend has been profiled, running the same type of events for the same type of audience, blasting branded photos that have the same look & feel (& even outfits) as my friend's and using similar social media post content, quotes and images.
“It’s as if she’s copying everything I’m doing and it’s soooo irritating! She even uses the same language as me! What's most annoying is she's starting to get these huge opportunities that I feel I'm missing out on.”
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Now, before you get the wrong idea and think my friend is some whiny, complaining Negative Nancy, she’s not. She’s one of the most positive and welcoming people I know. In fact I was a little surprised she was speaking like this as she’s always been the biggest champion of other people in business, particularly other women. But you see my friend wasn’t being a b!tch or moaning for the sake of it, she had just come down with a case of comparisonitis. She was comparing her own business to someone else’s and feeling misaligned as a result.
No business owner is immune to the idea of competition. But it’s when that competition gets a little too close we can start spending our time looking at what they’re doing, rather than staying in our own lane.
No matter what your biz does, we can all think of at least one person or company that you'll forget exists until something they do catches your attention and like a mosquito when you’re trying to get to sleep, it's suddenly the only thing you can think about. You start comparing everything they’re doing in biz to everything you’re doing.
So what can you do when this not-so-fun-element of small business happens?
Here’s a list of questions I like to ask myself when visiting compare & despair territory:
1 Why do you feel this way?
This is the most important thing to look at and it's something I've spent decades asking people in teams I've managed and, since starting my biz, clients. There's a fantastic podcast my husband put me onto, called Dharma Talks. One episode I listened to talked about asking yourself "why?" over and over until you get to the core of how you're feeling (i.e. I'm angry > why? > I feel like I'm being left behind > why? > etc). The same is true when you're deep in comparisonitis. What exactly is it about this person / company that has you riled? Do you think they haven't paid their dues with experience? Do they seem fake? Did they get something you wanted? Do they seem self-centred? Does it all seem too easy for them? Take time to really question what is it that's annoying you. Get rid of your ego and clarity surfaces. Why are you feeling how you feel?
2. What makes you think there's not enough for everyone?
The next thing is to consider if you're reacting out of fear that there's not enough to go around - that if people buy their product they won't buy yours. Or, if people use their service, your income will dry up. I live in Melbourne, a city globally known for its cafe culture with literally 100s of cafes. Some only serve cold brew or drip, some won't provide certain types of milk or make large coffees, others provide absolutely everything. Despite Melbourne not being a huge city (by global comparison) there's enough demand to fit supply. Instead of spiralling into despair, consider how YOUR business is different and promote those attributes widely.
3. What can this person teach you?
We can too easily dismiss our competitors without taking the time to really consider what they're doing well or - dare I say - better than us. Cast your ego to one side and look at what they're doing well. What lessons can they teach you?
4. Is what you’re telling yourself as bad as you think?
I have many clients who start our coaching sessions telling me ALLLLL the things they're crap at. And I ask them to answer the following: Is this true? (where are the facts?) Is it kind? (would you tell a friend the same thing?) and is it necessary? (how are these thoughts serving you?). When it comes to looking at your nemesis or competitor, do the same. Are you making the story into something bigger than it is?
5. How could we collaborate?
Say whaaat? I know. The last thing you'd expect to consider is how you might work WITH this person / company. The whole #communityovercompetition isn't just a trending hashtag. Some of the best events I've done have been with people who provide similar services to me. Even if you never intend to collaborate, spend 10 minutes writing down five ways that you could. Often just doing this alleviates ill-feelings towards that person / business and instead shows you all the opportunities that exist.
Comparing our business to another isn't always negative. It can help us identify areas we wish to grow in, or identity things we definitely don't want to do. Whatever you feel about your competitors, remember this quote (something my late mum used to tell me all the time, although I'm not sure who actually said it), "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you CHOOSE to react".